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  • Behind every great woman is a man checking out her ass
  • Lots of people complain about their looks, but not nearly enough complain about their brains.
  • I`m proud of my heart. It`s been played, stabbed, cheated, burned and broken, but somehow still works.
  • Math lessons from the weekend: 15 drinks + day in the sun = sunburned blackout.
  • make your wife happy by telling his the 3 words every woman loves to hear..Here’s My Wallet
  • A friend offers a hug when your having a bad day…a true friend brings you jello shots
  • If at any time it starts to seem like I care, tell me. I hate to give off the wrong impression.
  • Don’t let a liar upset you. They may only lie to you a few times, but they are lying to themselves all day, everyday.
  • if chocolate comes from cocoa beans and beans are veggies does that make chocolate a veggie?? oh i think it does 🙂
  • The daily word for today is ?FOCUS? ( Fuck Off Cuz You?re Stupid ) FOCUS.FOCUS.FOCUS everyone!
  • If necessity is the mother of invention, how come so much unnecessary stuff gets invented?
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