Witty

• As i grow older, i pay less attention to what people say?i just watch what they do.
• A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
• When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I,ve never tried before.
• Save the world? Kill yourself

• Last night I lay in my bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought; Where the heck is my ceiling
• He’s so ugly they ought to donate his face to the world wildlife fund.
• The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
• If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

• What MOM stands for?, Its Made For Money(MoM)
• I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
• Halloween should just be changed to National Dress Like a Whore Day.
• I can’t afford to go on vacation these days, so I just drink until I don’t know where the fuck I am or how I got there.

• A relationship is like a car without gas, u can stay in it as long as u want but u won’t go anywhere!
• Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
• Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you?re wrong.