Funny Status

Show Some Love For Us !

  • When your surrounded by idiots… just remember… Murder is illegal.
  • When I was born… I was so surprised… that’s why I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
  • All men are born free and equal. If they go and get married… that is their own fault.
  • Oh I am sorry… I didn’t realise you were giving me a dirty look?I just thought you were ugly like that all the time.
  • If you ask me to hold your beer, I’m gonna drink it. Just a little warning.
  • I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
  • The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
  • The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
  • Live life to the fullest… think of all the people on the Titanic who passed up chocolate dessert.
  • If we can’t be free, we at least can be cheap.
  • What a wonderful life I”ve had! I only wish I”d realized it sooner.
  • When I was born I was so surprised I didn?t talk for a year and a half.
  • Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say ?Are you gonna drink that??
  • Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
  • Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I?ve done it dozens of times.