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  • I think my girlfriend has had sixty one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover.
  • Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
  • People say that love is in every corner??gosh…. maybe i’m moving in circles..
  • Wanted to kill the sexiest person alive?But suicide’s a crime.
  • I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
  • Had my wife’s hearing tested today because she’s always yelling. Turns out she’s just a bitch.
  • A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house!
  • Want to really freak someone out? Add 2 extra turkey legs to the turkey well it?s in the oven.
  • I am not crazy or weird I am a LIMITED EDITION. Get it right 🙂
  • I’m so bad I don’t wear a helmet while riding my tricycle.
  • if your crazy it means your sane if your sane it means your crazy which means i must be crazy
  • i am a ninja with a pet panda, together we are… the bamboo butt-kickers!
  • People may think I’m crazy, but what they don’t know is I’m OK with that 😉
  • I would rather be old and crazy than young and normal any day
  • If you want to be TOGETHER you have TO-GET-HER
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