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  • Once you learn to accept things, then you learn to get over them…
  • I am crazy and hyper but that is 2 reasons why I am lovable.
  • I hate dealing with people with split personalities
  • Remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.
  • If somebody offers you a lifetime supply of candy and there is just one piece…. don’t eat it…. It’s probably poison.
  • In an interview… I can multitask housework with facebook.
  • I’ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming…CUT… CUT… CUUUUUT… when they have nightmares.
  • Oh I am sorry… I didn’t realise you were giving me a dirty look?I just thought you were ugly like that all the time.
  • Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
  • Alcohol does not make you fat?it makes you lean?against tables…chairs…walls… floors and Ugly people.
  • Me and my wife are inseparable. Sometimes… it takes three or four people to pull us apart.
  • Boys are like baby diapers when they get to be filled with shit they are thrown to be replaced.
  • Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
  • Make love… not war. Hell… do both. Get married.
  • My wife said I am too immature and if I do not grow up it is going to erect a barrier between us.
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