- Once you learn to accept things, then you learn to get over them…
- I am crazy and hyper but that is 2 reasons why I am lovable.
- I hate dealing with people with split personalities
- Remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.
- If somebody offers you a lifetime supply of candy and there is just one piece…. don’t eat it…. It’s probably poison.
- In an interview… I can multitask housework with facebook.
- I’ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming…CUT… CUT… CUUUUUT… when they have nightmares.
- Oh I am sorry… I didn’t realise you were giving me a dirty look?I just thought you were ugly like that all the time.
- Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
- Alcohol does not make you fat?it makes you lean?against tables…chairs…walls… floors and Ugly people.
- Me and my wife are inseparable. Sometimes… it takes three or four people to pull us apart.
- Boys are like baby diapers when they get to be filled with shit they are thrown to be replaced.
- Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Make love… not war. Hell… do both. Get married.
- My wife said I am too immature and if I do not grow up it is going to erect a barrier between us.
Please share to help others, thank you :)