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  • Some people just absolutely amaze me and some people are just absolutely amazing…
  • Some days chocolate will do it, but on days like today…Captain and Coke is the only solution
  • It’s amazing what a little tequila can do.
  • Peace makes the world go around. Alcohol makes it spin like fuck
  • Dear Liver, I apologize for what I did to you last night, but I sincerely hope you are ready for round two!
  • I’m still waiting for the wisdom that supposedly comes with age.
  • I will never be over the hill, cos am too dam tired to climb it.
  • look at my cup of care. \_/ oh crap. its empty. oh well. better luck next time!
  • I can only bottle so much inside, and right now, I’ve got more bottled up than a Coca-Cola factory.
  • When I’m good, I’m very good and when I’m bad, I’m sensational!
  • i have that kinda love that when i say "fuck you" she looks at me & grins & says "i did that last night"
  • Stand up and accept the consequences for your actions. You’re an adult. Act like one.
  • How do you know when you have old man balls? When you sit on the toilet and you can tell what the water temp. is.
  • the best one night stand is masturbation…you get to play with p#%^y and don’t have explain why later…lol
  • Show me an addict and I’ll show you someone who stands behind them keeping them sick.
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