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  • if your dog barks nd ememies laugh take it serious
  • People say you cant live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.
  • Good actors make good liars but good liars make great actors.
  • Early to bed, early to rise makes people suspicious.
  • Hello ! I am using Facebook
  • Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
  • No, please don’t eat me. I have a wife and kids,eat them.
  • Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
  • Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!
  • Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.
  • I’m in shape. Round is a shape isn’t it??
  • It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
  • The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.
  • I sometimes watch birds and wonder “If I could fly who would I shit on?”
  • Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
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