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  • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit?Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  • Retired. I was tired yesterday, and I’m tired again today.
  • It wondering when Noah kept woodpeckers on his ark.
  • If I had two brains, I still wouldn’t think twice.
  • Ladies, the word of the day is….Legs….. Now, let’s go back to my place and spread the word.
  • Makeup can make you look pretty on the outside. But it doesn’t help if you’re ugly on the inside.
  • When i scream in a Library, everyone just looks at me, but if i scream on a plane, everyone joins in.
  • Mommy’s alright, Daddy’s alright, they just seem a little weird. Surrender, surrender, but don’t give yourself away.
  • Is wondering how long she must stand on the front lawn with no clothes on, waiting for Google Earth to come and take her picture
  • I wasn’t mocking you I was emphasizing your words with pure stupidity
  • Sometimes I think it would be easier to be a guy but knowing my luck I’d get stuck with a small penis.
  • Would like to remind you that amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.
  • I may not be the best, but I?m definitely not like the rest.
  • I may not be the best, but I?m definitely not like the rest.
  • Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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