- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit?Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
- Retired. I was tired yesterday, and I’m tired again today.
- It wondering when Noah kept woodpeckers on his ark.
- If I had two brains, I still wouldn’t think twice.
- Ladies, the word of the day is….Legs….. Now, let’s go back to my place and spread the word.
- Makeup can make you look pretty on the outside. But it doesn’t help if you’re ugly on the inside.
- When i scream in a Library, everyone just looks at me, but if i scream on a plane, everyone joins in.
- Mommy’s alright, Daddy’s alright, they just seem a little weird. Surrender, surrender, but don’t give yourself away.
- Is wondering how long she must stand on the front lawn with no clothes on, waiting for Google Earth to come and take her picture
- I wasn’t mocking you I was emphasizing your words with pure stupidity
- Sometimes I think it would be easier to be a guy but knowing my luck I’d get stuck with a small penis.
- Would like to remind you that amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.
- I may not be the best, but I?m definitely not like the rest.
- I may not be the best, but I?m definitely not like the rest.
- Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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